The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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