Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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