Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just high enough for therapy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
