Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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