so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize