And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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