it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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