I want to have your abortion
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I did not marry a roomba.
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