You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
