U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
