i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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