tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
