At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
