how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
