Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
