Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We have started to decorate penises.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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