i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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