Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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