I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
that's an acceptable place to lick
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
