i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
