Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
