I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
