i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
