Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
