if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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