Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
