Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
