We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
