It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
