It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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