It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
