we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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