put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
