OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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