She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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