i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
