I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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