yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
