The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
