I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
