That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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