We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
