No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
