i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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