oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
