if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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