do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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