After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
