we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
