how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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