I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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