I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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