I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
