Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
